Daddy

Baba,

You'll never read this because I'll never show it to you; another one of the many, many things which I haven't told you about. It used to trouble me, the fact that my parents didn't really know who I was or what I wanted to become. I'm sure all of Aai's inputs helped build a pretty good picture, but sometimes I think that you didn't really know. You were so busy providing for us, looking after us, worrying about us: our health, our academics, the time we spend on the internet :) , that we always remained children for you. And a part of us was backstage: watching, thinking, growing, changing. Often I'm surprised at who I've become, and more often than that I'm surprised that you still think of me as the schoolgirl in blue who needs to be minded. Although I know that no two people in the world could love me more, worry about me more, what I crave for you see, is understanding.

When you came back after a two week absence, I began to realise what I saw you as: a shelter, a bunker, a source of stability, of security. You see, although you were always in the background, you were always there. I hardly ever remember being scolded by you, but I do remember each disapproving: "Aquila!" Your concern, your approval means a lot more than my estimate of it I think. :) And whenever I rebel, I turn away or storm off, I know that I'm always going to drift back. Because I know that you'll always be looking out for me. I think I've finally made peace with the fact that you might never understand, but you will always care.