The nut that is life.

Things go wrong when we think we have it all nicely figured out. Things go right when we least expect them to. Sometimes we waddle out of messes of our own creation, as gracefully as we can. Sometimes we step into puddles made invisible by our blind spots. We do what we can and we wonder. About this nut that we call life. The nut which we all try so hard to crack. And which, ironically, we spend our entire lives trying to crack. I seem to have made a tiny fissure. Lost a few teeth in the process. But that's the price hard nuts extract. So let me share the little understanding I seem to have gleaned.

A lot of life seems to be about self knowledge: about getting it and then applying it. About giving yourself the time and space to understand yourself, and more importantly than that, to understand your needs. We all come into the world with these marvelous things: souls. They're this soupy mix of genes, circumstances, people, and yes: randomness. But we have them, and they grow and change with us. And the marvelous thing about them is not that each of us possesses one, it's that each soul is different: it's like a fingerprint. And it can't be wiped out. Only ignored, or dimmed. And really, these souls are all we've got, they are the one hold, the one claim we have on this nut, on life. And cracking the nut seems to be about listening to these souls. Divining their needs, their hopes and fears and their aspirations. And trying to live up to them. Each need, each desire might be wildly different: it might have to do with your profession, your hobby, your personal relationships, the way you look, the way the sun feels on your skin. But you want it. And that's all the reason needed for anything, actually. Undeniably, we need to prune these desires sometimes, redirect them as we think fit. But if we choose to ignore their calls, it's at our own cost. And I really don't know why we are sometimes so blind to them, or so deaf, or so hesitant in giving them the time, attention and investment they deserve. Why we find it hard to face them, and embrace them. Is it that hard? Only a lifetime will tell.