A general wondering

I wonder why I am so harsh on myself. Comparing yourself to other people, to role models is great: after all, the more peaks we see, the more do we feel like scaling them. But when this instinct of looking up to people, of comparing yourself to them, and of grading yourself goes into an overdrive, it ceases to be healthy, to be encouraging. A good indicator of whether this instinct has indeed gone into an overdrive, is when you consistently flunk yourself in all the 'tests' you take: of smartness, of ambition, of coolness, of personality, of achievement, yadda yadda. I'm not saying that your role models aren't smart, ambitious, cool and all the rest: I'm just saying that the feeling of taking pleasure in your achievements, however small they might be, shouldn't overshadow that feeling of being inconsequential which you experience when you peek into someone else's notebook. 'Cos if you land up feeling that you can't contribute anyway, you won't land up doing anything.

"Do not remain nameless to yourself - it is too sad a a way to be." - Feynman

(And yes, we still look at the greats to get ourselves out of moral fixes. :))